The Latest and Greatest in Non-Suckage http://www.howtonotsuck.com hourly 1 1970-01-01T00:00+00:00 Every Wednesday on the Montel Williams show, he has Sylvia Browne on as a guest. She is a world renowned psychic, with scores of published books and a phone number you can call to get your very own psychic reading for $850. She's probably the most famous psychic in the world. And she is a fraud, just like every other psychic in the world.... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=53 Over the past few months I've gone to a bunch of places. Shows, expos, events, porn demonstrations, you know the sort. It never fails that during my visit there, somebody will have brought a small child. This should not be allowed.... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=52 There is an epidemic of violence going on right now. I'm not talking about the war in the Middle East or gang warfare, I'm talking about random people decided violence is the true path to happiness. They settle all conflicts by fighting, and they do everything they can to get a video of a fight up on YouTube. And they have to be stopped.... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=51 The Internet is a tool. It allows people to communicate, anonymously or otherwise, with other people who are using the same tool. Kind of like a phone, except the other person doesn't need to pick up their end at the same time you do in order to communicate with you. If you search the Internet for long enough (meaning roughly 12 seconds) you shouldn't have any trouble finding a fart joke, porn, someone insulting someone else, a video of an elephant painting itself, or some other random amusement. This all leads to one question, summed up by a guy who overdosed on drugs: "Why so serious?"... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=50 There seems to be a common trend in society right now about having to do less of stuff for the same results. Only exercise 20 minutes a day 3 days a week! With this pill, lose more weight in 2 weeks than in 2 months with diet alone! Make thousands of dollars a week stuffing envelopes! There's just one problem: there is no shortcut to real results. This especially holds true with personal hygiene.... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=49 It's been almost 2 months since I wrote my last article here. I had some problems in my personal life that demanded immediate attention, and they prevented me from having the time or inspiration to write anything. The emergency is over now, and I return today with even more vile rage-filled miasma than when I left, only my miasma doesn't carry disease; it carries a cure: the cure for the SUCK.... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=48 So it seems I hit a nerve or two with my last article. I received my first actual bona fide hate mail, as well as having a number of people comment negatively on both the content and quality of my last article. It is now time to address those comments, and ease the minds of those who took issue with what I said or how I said it.... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=47 When I started this website, I was ready to incur the wrath of people everywhere for basically insulting them to their keyboards. I even set up an email address "youarestupid@howtonotsuck.com" to respond to them with. Imagine my surprise when I found out that I was actually speaking FOR the masses, rather than against them. So far I've only received one hatemail, and that person was clinically retarded as far as I can tell. And so it is with great pride that I now speak for the entire internet universe:... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=46 Well, it's that time of year again: Time for people to get in to drunken fistfights with strangers because they don't like the look of the other person's face; Time for binge eating and projectile vomiting (if done right); Time for staying up way too late and molesting the first person of the opposite sex you see at midnight; Most importantly, it's time for people to resolve to do things and then completely ignore them.... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=45 Another Christmas, another Christmas article. Everyone else is doing it, so why not me? I'll tell you why not: because they're boring, repetitive, and they all say the same things. They're always spouting crap like "be nice to your fellow man" and "it's better to give than to receive at Christmas time." Well you know what? I didn't make last year's Christmas article all fluffy like that, and I'm not going to do it this year either. So anyone expecting a kinder, gentler article for Christmas can go take a flying leap while I discuss the actual issues.... http://www.howtonotsuck.com/viewarticle.php?id=44