The Offensive One

CONTEXT AND CONTENT WARNING: I wrote this in 2009, when I thought that being edgy and offensive was a good way to gain clicks. The n-word appeared a lot in the following text, because I was trying to be controversial. While I still believe in the thesis of this article - if you don't want people using a word, you should also not use it - this is not how I should have written about it, and it is not how I would write this article today. I leave it up in its current form because there is nothing to be gained by hiding from your past.


I'd like to talk to you all today about the biggest double standard in the world. What can you think of that's okay for one group of people to do, but not okay for another group to do? Something Michael Richards might get in trouble for yelling over and over again on stage... oh yeah, I remember now! N*****!

Michael Richards, American Hero

What is it that black people say about n*****? They're taking it back. "We're taking it back." "We've taken it back!" Just like Randall talking about porch monkey in Clerks 2. "What can I get for you ya little porch monkey? It's cool, I'm taking it back."

Do you know what "taking it back" really means? It's a fancy way to say it's okay for black people to say n*****, but it's not okay for anyone else to say it. What a load of horse shit.

First of all, let's look at that phrase "taking it back" for a minute. If I have a twenty dollar bill, and you take it, and then I get it back from you, I have successfully taken it back. I had it, then you had it, and now I have it again; I've taken it back. "Taking it back" implies that at one point before now, it was yours.

Double Standard - definition

  1. A set of principles permitting greater opportunity or liberty to one than to another, especially the granting of greater sexual freedom to men than to women.
  2. N*****.

Now let's look at the word n***** itself. Before recently, it was used by stupid white people to describe black people. At no point in history before a few years ago (I want to say 20?) was it ever used by a black person as a term of endearment toward other black people. That's not taking it back at all; that's stealing. The black man has stolen the word n*****.

That's just an argument of semantics though. Let's get to the real meat of the issue. The main problem I have with the word n***** is that it's okay for black people to use it, but it's not okay for anyone else to use it. That is quite literally the definition of a double standard: okay for one person, not okay for another.

I was raised Jewish. I have never in my life been offended by anyone calling me a k***. Mostly I just look at them like they're a fucking idiot, in which I'm correct for any number of reasons. That's not the point though: Jews don't walk around calling each other k***, because the only reason for the word's existence is to offend and insult Jews. It's an offensive word, so it's not in our vernacular.

Think a white man could do this routine?

Then there's n*****. A word that's so offensive to black people that they feel the need to call each other by it. If you can figure out the logic behind that, you spend too much time thinking about shit that doesn't matter and you should get some help. If you don't want someone who looks like me calling you n*****, then don't let your friend call you n***** either.

"But Chris, guys call each other asshole all the time and nobody complains." Not the same thing. Asshole is on the same level as jerk: yes it's an insult, but it's so stupid as an insult that it doesn't deserve much attention. N***** is on the same level as k***: only exists to offend, and should not be used.

The bottom line is this: if you're so offended by the word n*****, then don't let anyone call you it. If you're going to let people call you n*****, let everyone call you n*****. It should be allowed for everyone, or not allowed for anyone. There is no in between ground here. That's the nature of our society as civilized people: things are okay for all or not okay for all, period. And if you think any differently, then go fuck yourself you ignorant little pissant.

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